March 31, 2005

I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

It started Monday morning. For the first time in weeks, I was having leg pain in both legs. Two pain killers helped me make it through day. By Tuesday the leg pain was worse. Took two more pain killers that day, and a muscle-relaxer once I got home, which didn't do any good.

By Wednesday I barely made it into work; and once I did, I didn't stay there long. The leg spasms/numbness was so bad that I decided to head back home before that was no longer an option. I have a 42 mile drive one-way between work and home, and when you're legs are that messed up you really should not be driving.

On Wednesday I stayed down like a good girl and didn't do a thing but take drugs and lie down. I was tempted to do work from home, but knew that would mean sitting, which would cause me great pain. So I mostly slept and watched mindless tv.

Now it's Thursday morning. After a day of taking good care of myself, I was hoping to see an improvement; but there is none. In fact, on top of the leg pain and numbness, I can no longer stand or walk for more than a handful of seconds, and now I can no longer stand up straight. I'm a minor hunchback.

This is about as bad as it gets. I've been through this twice before, both time which resulted in 5-7 days bed rest. I hate this, I really do.

It's ironic, because yesterday was the day I was to have my ADR surgery. Now that's been pushed to May 11, which seems like an eternity. If I could perform the surgery myself, I would. Keep me away from knives.

Big Development (Kind of)

I'm lucky - my dad works in the healthcare biz. He's been making calls on my behalf, trying to get costs and such for my ADR. He contacted a guy at DePuy, the manufacturer of the Charite Disc. The guy left him a voice mail yesterday evening stating that Aetna has officially approved the procedure. This is a big deal, because Aetna is a conservative insurance company, and a big one at that. What they do has a good chance of filtering down to the other insurance companies.

Because my surgery is May 11, I now have at least a 50% chance of my ADR being covered by insurance. Yesterday I was putting that chance at a 1%, so I'll take the 50% any day.

I know I can't get my hopes up too much, but the situation does remind me to keep having hope. Hope the procedure goes well, hope that this doesn't set us back financially for years to come.

I'm more German than Irish, but on St. Patrick's Day, it seems I had a little "luck of the Irish" for my day.

A New Date

I just received a new surgery date to put on my calendar - Wednesday, May 11. Four days before my birthday; hopefully I'll be out of the hospital by then, though I will definitely not be celebrating in typical fashion.

Two months seems like an incredible amount of time to wait, but I've been waiting this long, right? There are still a lot of things to work through, like finances and all the prep work I want to do personally and professionally before I'm out of commission for an indefinite period of time.

My goal between now and then is to try and stay busy as much as possible. The less time I have to think about the risks of the procedure and what I'll face afterwards, the better.

Stay the course

These last few weeks have been very difficult.

For anyone considering this surgery, you need to know that you will probably hit a lot of road blocks along the way. This past week, here's what I've faced:

1. 99.9% chance that United Healthcare will NOT approve my surgery, which means we'll be paying out of pocket. It's a very expensive surgery...maybe I should set up a PayPal link just in case someone with a lot of money comes across my site and wants to donate to my unofficial fund? (I'm just kidding!)

2. My ortho doc told me I would be having my surgery at St. Thomas in Akron...but he doesn't even have approval to do it there yet! Basically he completed exaggerated, lied, whatever you want to classify it as. It will be approved April 13...but until then he's doing them in Akron General with a vascular surgeon who I've been told is slow, makes a big incision, etc. Not someone I want.

3. I no longer have my March 30 date. Will now wait until at least April 13 so I can have the good vascular surgeon at St. Thomas. Then they have to coordinate the ortho doc/vascular doc schedules, which means I'll probably be having the surgery in May. Hopefully a few weeks before my 29th birthday on May 15.

It's been a trying week to say the least, but tomorrow is the start of a new week. The good news is that after a week of extremely horrible pain, today wasn't too bad in comparison. I'll take it.

If I had any doubts...

There are times where I have wondered if I've made the right decision as to move forward with the surgery. I'm 28 years old, it's a major procedure, and even though they've been doing it in Europe for 17 years, there's no long term guarantee. Actually, there's no short term guarantee either.

But then I have days like yesterday. It's always a bad sign when you wake up with horrible back pain, since sleeping is usually when I'm most "comfortable," if there is such a thing. But that's exactly what happened. Took a Vicadin before I left for work, which did little good. Managed to make it through part of the day, and took off around 1:30. Let's just say the pain is at a 9.89 out of 10 at this point. I'm no better than I was yesterday, and it helps to reaffirm in my mind that I've made the right decision. The only thing I'm regretting is that the surgery isn't sooner.

Now it's Tuesday morning, and I'm feeling the same as I did on Monday. Because I like to punish myself, I think I'll go into work this morning, simply because I do have some major projects I need to work on and I can't as easily work on them from home. I'll try and put in a half day, then go home to recover from the damage I've caused from leaving the house.

My big task for today is to call the clinic to see if United Healthcare approved my procedure yet. If not, I think I'm going to move forward and make payment arrangements. I really can't afford to push this off much longer. The financial piece will take a little time, plus I need to have pre-admission testing completed. Only three weeks left.

The Waiting Game

It's been over three weeks since I told my doc to "sign me up" for the ADR. I found out two weeks ago that my insurance claim has already been denied twice. Now my doc has the manufacturer's "insurance-busters" department trying to get it approved. Still no news.

It's tough waiting, especially when so many things in life are on hold. I have a job, my husband & I are wanting to buy our first house, etc. But it's all in a holding pattern at the moment. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to have this surgery on March 30, and if I do, who's going to be paying for it. If I start to think about it too much, it will be more stress than I can handle, so I just try and stay busy and keep the back pain to a minimum.

These last three weeks have been a mixed bag of emotions. I've felt anger at the situation I'm in. Overwhelmed by how not-in-control I am of the situation. Exhausted with the levels of pain I've been dealing with, and trying to get through the day in a normal fashion. Frustrated with waiting. Worried if I'm making the right decision. Grateful for the people around me, especially Brad (my husband), who have been very supportive of this whole ordeal.

But, on a Saturday, there's nothing I can do but wait. Nothing happens on a Saturday. Sunday will be one day closer to Monday, which will hopefully provide me with some answers.

Have to start somewhere

Welcome to my blog, "My ADR." ADR stands for Artificial Disc Replacement, which I'm hoping to have on March 30.

The one thing I've learned as a long time back pain sufferer is that there are a lot of us out there. All with different stories, but with similar struggles. This is my story.

I've been suffering from degenerative disc disease since June 1992; I was 16. On February 10, I made the decision to move forward with ADR surgery. At this point it's not officially scheduled since my insurance company, United Healthcare, has already denied the request twice.
This is a pic of the Charite Disc, which will take the place of my L5-S1 disc, whether I have to pay for it or not. It's not very pretty, and the thought of having this in my spine makes me weak at the knees, but it's the only chance I have at living a "normal" life at this point. This is what I've been waiting for, as long as I can remember.

This is the wave of the future, for good or bad. The one thing I've found difficult is finding real life stories of others who have been through this. The main point of this is to provide others out there who are looking for opportunities a chance to read about what ADR does for me, no matter what the results. It's also a place for family and friends to read up on the latest developments on the "back" front.

Comments, questions, etc. are welcome. Positive energy only, please. Life is too short for the negative stuff.